#7

Tattoo Ballad


Torrents of electrons
Find vent in steel
Flickering magnetic
Bonds clapping
Open, closed
Fast as hummingbird hearts
Drive the needles’
Staccato plunge


Viscous metals
Pigments spreading
Find homes in skin
Cells accommodate
Microscopic inkblots
Permanently etched in
Slow weeping
Surface wounds


This is how I remember you.

"Time takes all but memories"

In honor of All Souls Day, here are some pictures that we took in the cemetery in downtown Nacogdoches.



Probably the coolest sundail ever...
...and detail.




My favorite angel statue.



The Virgin.



Amazing creepy broken statue.



A beautiful old grave.



And, finally, the stately oak tree which guards the cemetery.

Click!

Wow, I just read something amazing in "The Fat Girl's Guide to Life" by Wendy Shanker.

"It's not my job to defend myself against this girl. It's her job not to attack me" (10).

Wow. That really hit me hard. It's so true for women and human beings in general. Too often we get into the habit of victim blaming. (I'm talking about every kind of victimization, from rape to racism.) It's easy. It takes the pressure off. It helps us cope with violence or uncomfortable emotions like hate. We can say that the victim "should have" done this, or could have "defended themselves" in this or that way. We say this because it helps us believe that we have options if we get in the same situation.

But all of that is a lie.

The bottom line is this: It's not our job to defend ourselves. It's other people's jobs not to attack us.

My Big Fat Confession

I am fat.

There, I said it. Now really hear me.

My BMI is 37. I wear a size 18/20 in pants, a 9 in underwear, a 38DD in bras, and a 6.5 in shoes. I am four feet, ten inches tall. I am 31 years old. I am fat.
I am also a writer, a tutor, a student, a fiance, a friend, a daughter, and a sister. I am not stupid or lazy or sad. I am loved. I am respected.

And I am judged because I am fat. Worse, I judge myself because I am fat.

This is what I am trying to say: I accept myself as I am. I can accept myself and also seek to improve myself. I can be fat and eat well and enjoy my food and exercise and listen to my body--all at the same time. It's not easy, but I can do it.


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This begins a series of entries about fat acceptance. I need to write about this because I need to understand where I fit.

#14 ow

This was my morning.




This is what I had done. Sort of. I love how this picture portrays absolutely none of the pain, indignity and stench associated with the actual procedure. Who knew burning teeth smelled so bad? Not me! Also, it turns out that Tooth #14 was "hot," meaning so riddled with infection that it only responded to the "special" anesthetic. (Which, apparently, costs hundreds of dollars.) Fun.

So, yes, a very nice and gentle dentist gave me a root canal this morning. I am currently in the "Waiting for the Man" portion of the pain killer cycle, in which our hero bites back moans and waits patiently for the next dose to kick in. This will be followed by the "Am I OK? I think I'm OK" stage, the brief "Things are pretty" stage, the "Will everything please stop spinning now?" phase, quickly followed by the "Overwhelming Nausea" stage, and then, finally, the "I'm just going to take a little nap now" phase.

Protest Letter to Organon

Organon USA
56 Livingston Ave
Roseland, NJ 07068

Dear Organon,

I purchased and used the NuvaRing faithfully. I recommended it to every woman I knew. Now I can’t afford it. You have just lost a customer. You have just denied a woman birth control because of her economic status.

According to your website, you value action. “Each letter in ACTION represents an important value we share as an organization: accountability, communication, transparency, initiative, objectives, and now.” You must be accountable to the thousands of women who you have just disenfranchised due to your price increase. You must open lines of communication by being more available on the web. You must actually be transparent in your business practices. Take the initiative and support women's reproductive health. Fufill your objective to provide reasonably priced birth control to all women.

Lower your prices. Now.

Your former customer,
Pixie Pedagogue

We are very lucky women. We live in a nation where we have control over our own reproductive health. We even have options as to how we may prevent unwanted pregnancies.

Except for poor women. Their options are rapidly disappearing.

Why? Because Organon, the prescription company who makes Cyclessa, Desogen and NuvaRing, has raised their prices. So has Ortho, the makers of Ortho Tricyclen Lo. Both companies have cancelled their discounted pricing for ALL University Student Health Centers across the country. But wait! These prices have not just gone up for women who can afford college. They have gone up in Planned Parenthood, the only option for most low income women. Most increases have been from 200% to 300%. Even though Organon reported an 8% increase in revenues in 2006.

I am one of those women now out of options. I use the NuvaRing. I have been using it for two years, and it is the best birth control I have ever tried. It’s the only one I’ve ever trusted. The NuvaRing is easy to use, free of side effects (for me) and—here’s the best part—more effective than the pill. I used to buy it for $15. Now it costs $52. That is an increase of over 300%. Three times the price! Planned Parenthood went up to $40 for one NuvaRing.

This is outrageous. I’m through taking this crap. We have to do something about this, sisters.
I searched all over the internet for the contact information for Organon, and this is what I found: Organon USA
56 Livingston Ave
Roseland, NJ 07068
Customer Service Department:1-800-241-8812, 8:00am - 5:00pm(EST).
Organon has a website, but no email addresses and no local sales representative information that I could find.

This means that you have to MAIL A LETTER, ladies. Do it! I know you have stamps laying around! Protest!

We have to let them know that American women deserve better! Those of us that can afford birth control have to speak for those who can’t.

Here’s some articles:
Planned Parenthood on the NuvaRing: www.plannedparenthood.org/birth-control-pregnancy/birth-control/the-ring.htm (They won’t say anything about the price increase, but they’re feeling it too. Call your local clinic and ask.)

The price increase at University of Texas: http://media.www.dailytexanonline.com/media/storage/paper410/news/2007/02/09/TopStories/Birth.Control.Prices.May.Increase.To.50.Per.Month-2709330.shtml

It’s happening around the nation, too!
In North Carolina. http://www.ecu.edu/cs-studentlife/studenthealth/contraceptiveprices.cfm
In Georgia. http://www.emory.edu/UHS/what'snewNuvaRing.html
In New Hampshire. http://media.www.tnhonline.com/media/storage/paper674/news/2007/02/02/News/Birth.Control.Prices.Up-2693129.shtml