Friday, October 24, 2008


Wow, I just read something amazing in "The Fat Girl's Guide to Life" by Wendy Shanker.

"It's not my job to defend myself against this girl. It's her job not to attack me" (10).

Wow. That really hit me hard. It's so true for women and human beings in general. Too often we get into the habit of victim blaming. (I'm talking about every kind of victimization, from rape to racism.) It's easy. It takes the pressure off. It helps us cope with violence or uncomfortable emotions like hate. We can say that the victim "should have" done this, or could have "defended themselves" in this or that way. We say this because it helps us believe that we have options if we get in the same situation.

But all of that is a lie.

The bottom line is this: It's not our job to defend ourselves. It's other people's jobs not to attack us.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

My Big Fat Confession

I am fat.

There, I said it. Now really hear me.

My BMI is 37. I wear a size 18/20 in pants, a 9 in underwear, a 38DD in bras, and a 6.5 in shoes. I am four feet, ten inches tall. I am 31 years old. I am fat.
I am also a writer, a tutor, a student, a fiance, a friend, a daughter, and a sister. I am not stupid or lazy or sad. I am loved. I am respected.

And I am judged because I am fat. Worse, I judge myself because I am fat.

This is what I am trying to say: I accept myself as I am. I can accept myself and also seek to improve myself. I can be fat and eat well and enjoy my food and exercise and listen to my body--all at the same time. It's not easy, but I can do it.

This begins a series of entries about fat acceptance. I need to write about this because I need to understand where I fit.